Get the complete manual for rebuilding after losing faith. Alyssa Grenfell's book is filled with poignant anecdotes and first hand advice from a girl who went from temple ceremonies to tank tops and lattes. In his forward, Dr. John Dehlin said, “This book is an essential companion for those who feel lost, alone, and confused once their Mormon shelf breaks.”
Buy your copy nowLeaving a religion can be a daunting experience for anyone. It can be especially difficult when that religion has been a significant part of your life for many years. In this particular instance, the grass is greener on the other side.
Growing up in a Mormon household, I was raised to believe that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was the one true church. As a child, I attended Sunday services and participated in church activities with my family. I was taught to pray, read the scriptures, and follow the commandments. As I grew older, my faith became an integral part of my identity.
However, as I entered my teenage years, I began to question some of the church's teachings and practices. I found myself struggling to reconcile my personal beliefs with those of the Mormon Church. I was conflicted and confused, but I kept my doubts to myself.
It wasn't until I went away to college that I began to explore my doubts and questions more deeply. I read books, listened to podcasts, and talked to people who had left the Mormon Church. I realized that there were many others like me who had struggled with their faith and ultimately left the church.
A faith crisis can happen to anyone, regardless of their religious background. For those who have grown up in the Mormon Church, a faith crisis can be a particularly challenging experience. Here are additional must have resources for navigating a faith crisis.
It can be a gradual process or a sudden realization, but the end result is the same: a questioning of one's beliefs and a search for answers.
There are many factors that can contribute to a Mormon faith crisis. One of the most common is exposure to new information or perspectives. As members of the church begin to learn more about its history and teachings, they may come across information that challenges their beliefs or raises questions. This can be a difficult and uncomfortable experience, as it can shake the foundation of one's faith.
Another factor that can contribute to a faith crisis is personal experiences or interactions with the church. For example, a member may have a negative experience with a church leader or may feel that they are not being treated fairly within the church. These experiences can lead to feelings of disillusionment and frustration.
Other factors that can contribute to a faith crisis include changes in personal circumstances, such as a divorce or a loss of a loved one, and the influence of outside sources, such as friends or family members who have left the church. In some cases, a faith crisis can also be triggered by a personal spiritual experience, such as a feeling of disconnect from God or a loss of faith in prayer.
The process of a Mormon faith crisis can be difficult and emotional. It often involves a questioning of one's identity and values, as well as a search for answers and meaning. Some individuals may choose to leave the church, while others may choose to stay and work through their doubts and questions.
If you are experiencing a Mormon faith crisis, it is important to seek out support and resources. This can include talking to a trusted friend or family member, seeking counseling or therapy, and engaging with online communities and resources that can provide information and support.
A faith crisis can be a difficult but ultimately transformative experience. It can lead to a deeper understanding of one's beliefs and values, as well as a greater sense of empathy and understanding towards others who may have different beliefs.
For those who are experiencing a faith crisis within the Mormon Church, deciding whether to leave the church or stay involved in some capacity can be a difficult decision. There are many factors to consider, including personal beliefs and values, relationships with family and friends, and the sense of community and belonging that the church provides.
One option for those who are considering leaving the church is to fully disaffiliate from the church. This can involve formally resigning from the church and cutting ties with the Mormon community. This can be a difficult and emotional decision, as it can mean giving up a sense of community and belonging that has been a significant part of one's life.
Another option is to stay somewhat involved with the church while also exploring other beliefs and practices. This can involve attending church services and activities while also engaging with other spiritual communities and practices. This can be a good option for those who still value the sense of community that the church provides but also want to explore other beliefs and practices.
For some, remaining in the church even if they do not fully believe can be a viable option. This can involve attending church services and participating in church activities while also maintaining a personal set of beliefs and values that may differ from those of the church. This can be a difficult option, as it may involve navigating relationships with family and friends who may not understand or accept one's beliefs.
Ultimately, the decision of whether to leave the church or stay involved in some capacity is a deeply personal one. It is important to take the time to reflect on one's beliefs and values and to seek out support and resources as needed. This can include talking to trusted family and friends, seeking counseling or therapy, and engaging with online communities and resources that can provide information and support.
In the end, it is important to trust one's own journey and to make the decision that feels right for oneself. Whether one chooses to fully disaffiliate from the church, stay somewhat involved, or remain in the church even if they do not fully believe, it is possible to find a sense of peace and fulfillment in one's own personal beliefs and values.
For those who have experienced a faith crisis and have decided to leave the Mormon Church, sharing this news with family can be a difficult and emotional conversation.
It can be challenging to express one's beliefs and values without damaging relationships or causing hurt and upset.
One key factor in sharing this news with family is to approach the conversation with empathy and understanding. It is important to recognize that family members may have strong emotional ties to the church and may feel hurt or upset by the news. By approaching the conversation with kindness and compassion, it may be possible to minimize the damage to relationships.
Another important factor is to be clear and honest about one's beliefs and values. It can be helpful to approach the conversation as a dialogue, rather than a debate. This can involve expressing one's beliefs and values while also listening to the perspectives of family members.
By approaching the conversation with an open mind and a willingness to listen, it may be possible to find common ground and maintain positive relationships.
It can also be helpful to set boundaries and communicate clearly about what one is and is not comfortable with in terms of interactions with the church. For example, it may be helpful to communicate that while one may not be attending church services, they are still open to spending time with family members and engaging in other activities together.
In some cases, it may be helpful to seek out the support of a therapist or counselor to navigate this conversation with family. They can provide guidance on how to communicate effectively and manage emotions during the conversation.
It is important to approach the conversation with empathy, honesty, and clear communication, while also setting boundaries and maintaining a sense of compassion for family members who may be struggling with the news.
With time and patience, it may be possible to maintain positive relationships while also staying true to one's beliefs and values.
For those who have left the Mormon Church, building a new identity and value system can be a challenging but rewarding process.
After years of adhering to a rigid set of beliefs and values, it can be difficult to navigate life outside of the church and establish a sense of personal identity and purpose.
One key step in building a new identity is to take the time to reflect on one's personal beliefs, values, and priorities. This can involve exploring new spiritual and philosophical perspectives, engaging in personal growth and development, and identifying one's unique strengths and passions.
It can also be helpful to seek out new communities and social networks that align with one's personal beliefs and values. This can involve exploring new hobbies, interests, and activities, and connecting with like-minded individuals who share similar values and perspectives.
It is important to recognize that building a new identity and value system is a process that takes time and patience. It may involve periods of uncertainty and self-doubt, but it can also be a time of growth and discovery. By embracing the journey and staying true to one's beliefs and values, it is possible to create a fulfilling and meaningful life outside of the Mormon Church.
Building a new identity and value system outside of the Mormon Church is about becoming one's own person and living a life that is authentic and true to oneself. It may involve letting go of old beliefs and values, but it can also be an opportunity to explore new perspectives and possibilities and create a life that is deeply fulfilling and meaningful.
Leaving the Mormon Church can be a major life decision that can have a significant impact on one's personal and social identity. It is not uncommon to feel overwhelmed and uncertain in the aftermath of such a big decision.
It is important to take the time to pause and be patient with oneself during this time of transition.
One key step is to allow oneself the space and time to process the emotions that may arise after leaving the church. This can involve engaging in self-care activities such as exercise, meditation, journaling, or spending time in nature. It can also involve seeking out support from friends, family, or a therapist to help process emotions and navigate this new chapter in life.
It is also important to be patient with oneself when making decisions about the future. It is not uncommon to feel uncertain or ambivalent about what comes next after leaving the church. It can be helpful to take the time to reflect on personal values, goals, and aspirations, and to explore new interests and opportunities.
When making big decisions, it can be helpful to break them down into smaller, more manageable steps. This can involve setting achievable goals, creating a plan of action, and seeking out support and resources as needed.
Above all, it is important to be patient and compassionate with oneself during this time of transition. It can be challenging to let go of old beliefs and identities, but it is also an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. By taking the time to pause and reflect, and by being patient with oneself during the decision-making process, it is possible to create a fulfilling and meaningful life outside of the Mormon Church.
For those who have left the Mormon Church, trying substances such as coffee, alcohol, or other drugs can be a new and exciting experience. However, it is important to approach these substances in a safe and informed way.
One key step is to do research and educate oneself about the substance being considered. This can involve learning about the potential risks and benefits, how to consume it safely, and understanding any potential interactions with other medications or health conditions.
It is also important to start with small doses and go slow when trying a new substance. This can help to reduce the risk of adverse reactions and allow for a better understanding of how the substance affects one's body and mind.
When trying alcohol, it is important to drink responsibly and avoid excessive consumption. This can involve setting limits, drinking water between alcoholic drinks, and avoiding driving or operating machinery while under the influence.
It can also be helpful to try substances with trusted friends or in a safe and controlled environment. This can provide a support system and reduce the risk of adverse experiences or accidents.
It is important to remember that everyone's experiences with substances will be unique, and it is important to listen to one's body and mind when exploring new substances. If at any time an individual feels uncomfortable or experiences negative side effects, it is important to stop using the substance immediately and seek medical attention if necessary.
By approaching the exploration of substances in a safe and informed way, it is possible to have a positive and enjoyable experience while minimizing potential risks and negative consequences.
Leaving the Mormon Church can open up new opportunities to explore one's sexuality and to embrace a more authentic and fulfilling sexual identity. However, it can also be a challenging and confusing time, particularly for those who may have grown up with restrictive or shaming attitudes towards sex.
One key step is to engage in self-exploration and to learn about one's own desires and preferences. This can involve exploring solo sex, using toys or other aids, and being open to new experiences.
It is also important to communicate openly and honestly with sexual partners. This can involve setting boundaries, discussing preferences and desires, and being clear about what is and isn't comfortable.
When exploring sexuality, it is important to prioritize safety and consent. This can involve using protection, getting tested for sexually transmitted infections, and being respectful of others' boundaries and limits.
It can also be helpful to seek out support and resources from trusted friends or a therapist who can help navigate this new chapter in life. This can involve learning about healthy communication, managing shame and guilt, and exploring one's own values and beliefs around sex.
Above all, it is important to be patient and compassionate with oneself during this time of exploration.
It may take time to fully embrace one's sexuality and to find a fulfilling and authentic sexual identity. By being open to new experiences, communicating openly and honestly, and prioritizing safety and consent, it is possible to explore one's sexuality in a positive and empowering way after leaving the Mormon Church.
After leaving the Mormon Church, it can take time to adjust to a new way of living and to break the small rules and guidelines that were once ingrained. From swearing and piercings to Sabbath day observance and tithing, there are many aspects of daily life that may need to be reevaluated and renegotiated. Here are some tips for getting comfortable with breaking the small rules of Mormonism:
Swearing: Swearing may have been considered taboo in the Mormon Church, but after leaving, it can be liberating to express oneself with colorful language. However, it is important to consider the context and audience before swearing, and to be aware of any potential consequences in professional or social settings.
Piercings, Tattoos, and Body Modifications: The Mormon Church has strict guidelines about piercings, tattoos, and body modifications, but after leaving, it is up to the individual to decide what feels authentic and empowering. It is important to research and consider the risks and potential consequences of any modifications, and to be aware of any social or cultural implications.
Sabbath Day Observance: The Sabbath day was once a day of rest and worship in the Mormon Church, but after leaving, it can be a day for personal reflection and relaxation. It is important to prioritize self-care and to engage in activities that bring joy and fulfillment, whether that involves spending time with loved ones or pursuing personal interests.
Tithing: Tithing was once a mandatory practice in the Mormon Church, but after leaving, it can be difficult to know what to do with the money that was once allocated for this purpose. It is important to consider personal values and priorities and to find ways to support causes and organizations that align with those values.
Loving Your Non-Garment Wearing Body: The Mormon Church places great emphasis on modesty and the wearing of temple garments, but after leaving, it can be liberating to embrace one's body and to wear clothing that feels comfortable and empowering. It is important to prioritize self-love and to challenge any negative beliefs or attitudes towards one's body.
Reevaluating "For the Strength of Youth" Guidelines: "For the Strength of Youth" is a publication that provides guidelines and standards for young members of the Mormon Church, but after leaving, it can be helpful to reevaluate and deconstruct these guidelines to determine what feels authentic and empowering. It is important to prioritize personal values and to challenge any beliefs or attitudes that may no longer align with those values.
Leaving the Mormon Church can lead to a time of self-reflection and introspection, and for many, this includes a re-examination of political beliefs. Here are some tips for exploring and re-examining your political beliefs after leaving the Mormon Church:
Leaving the Mormon Church can be a time of personal growth and change, and re-examining political beliefs can be a natural part of this process. By taking time to reflect, research, challenge beliefs, engage in activism, and embrace diversity, individuals can develop a more nuanced and informed perspective on politics and how it aligns with their personal values and beliefs.
Leaving the Mormon Church can be a life-altering decision that takes significant time and effort to process and overcome. Recovering from years of religious messaging and deprogramming the all-encompassing, controlling nature of the church takes time, patience, and perseverance. Here are some tips for navigating the recovery process:
Remember that recovery from Mormonism is a lifelong journey, and it is important to be patient and kind with yourself along the way. Seek out support, focus on self-care, embrace your newfound freedom, and celebrate progress as you continue to heal and grow. With time and effort, it does get better.
Leaving the Mormon Church was not an easy decision for me. It meant giving up a sense of community and belonging that I had known my entire life. It meant facing the judgment and disapproval of family and friends who remained faithful to the church. But ultimately, it was a decision that I knew was right for me.
The process of leaving the church was a gradual one. I stopped attending church services and activities and began to distance myself from the Mormon community. I also sought out therapy to help me work through the emotional turmoil of leaving the church.
As difficult as it was, leaving the Mormon Church was also a liberating experience. It allowed me to explore my own beliefs and values without the constraints of religious doctrine. I discovered new interests and passions that I had never considered before. I also found a sense of community and belonging in other areas of my life, such as friendships and hobbies.
Leaving the Mormon Church was a journey of self-discovery and growth for me. It taught me to question the beliefs and values that I had been taught as a child and to explore my own identity. It also taught me the importance of empathy and understanding towards those who have different beliefs than I do.
If you are considering leaving the Mormon Church or any other religion, my advice would be to take it slow and be gentle with yourself. Leaving a religion can be a challenging and emotional experience, but it can also be a rewarding one. Trust yourself and your own journey, and remember that you are not alone.
